PTB's - Writing Challenge 2013
by Kallipap
Summary: Edward leaves Bella. She's not ready to give him up. She searches for him for almost a year. When she finds him, she finally understands why he left. His life is dangerous. He is not who she thought he was. Now she can't get away, even if she wants to. Her life will never be the same. AH, M
1. Chapter 1

**Challenge Number/Title:** #1 – Rocky horizons

**Date Posted:** 02/05/2013

**Fandom:** Twilight

**Rating:** NC17

**Genre:** AH

**Content Descriptors:** Angst, Romance, Mystery

**Character Pairing:** Bella / Edward

~~ooOOOoo~~

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Hello, everybody! This is my contribution to PTB's Writing Challenge 2013. There will be one story line, under the unofficial title 'Secret Hearts', concluded in 52 chapters. I will try to be on time, but the last few days have been difficult with my home internet connection being shot. It's back now and will hopefully stay compliant. I already have all 5 challenges written by now, but they need to go through PTB for beta'ing.

My greatest thanks to BelleDuJour and Nlr287bells from PTB, for beta'ing this chapter for me. Their words of encouragement were essential in getting me to write the next challenges so fast. I guess positive feedback is a great motivation. If you know what I mean. *hint* Okay, on with the show…

_**Secret Hearts**_

Chapter 1

The heat of the sweltering sun reflected off the rocky surface of the cliff Bella was crouched upon and made her breathing difficult. She squinted her eyes, trying to avoid the glare of the sun, but it was impossible. Looking around, she saw bare rocks everywhere. There was not a tree in sight. Or any vegetation, for that matter. Just some dried weeds that had long ago succumbed to the hostile sun and never-ending heat. The only living things there were bugs and snakes. She shuddered at the thought of the slithering, crawling creatures being anywhere near her and pushed the imagery away. Even after having spent months in the desert, she still couldn't come to terms with them.

"Of course, he would go somewhere he thought I would find hard to follow," she mumbled, exasperated by a pestering bug circling her. "He didn't know me very well."

It had taken her the better part of a year to locate him; she wouldn't back down now. She couldn't. Even if she silently cursed him to the fiery pits of hell for doing this to her, she had to be with him.

_Well, he didn't actually do this to you_, her inner voice argued. _You did it to yourself. He doesn't even know you're here_.

"Just...shut up, you...you ungrateful bitch!" Bella huffed and tried to find a more comfortable position. The hard, rocky surface underneath her did not a convenient resting place make. Especially as she had been lying on it for so many hours. Her body was sorely missing the softness—and coolness—of the hotel sheets she left miles and miles away, before dawn, so she could find him. "And now m talking to myself. I must have a loose screw up there!"

If anyone who knew her saw her now, they would have a hard time recognizing the timid, uncoordinated girl she had been until a year ago. She had never been the outdoorsy type. The only sport she had ever been remotely successful at was book-lifting and page-turning. And even then, she had still managed to get quite a few paper cuts. So, to go from being that girl, to running around the globe looking for him—the boy who broke her heart when he left her—would qualify as a major change.

For about a month after he left, she had wallowed. She didn't sleep; she didn't eat. She had, quite literally, become a shadow of herself. Neither her father's worried looks nor her friends' coaxing would do anything to elevate her broken spirit.

Miserable and alone, she had drowned in the memories of him. His beautiful smile, his warm hands caressing her, his sweet lips molding with hers and creating sensations unlike any before, were the images she had kept dearest in her bruised heart. But that was during the daytime. She had stubbornly clung to those images while awake, desperate to remember the good times. She hadn't allowed herself to even think about the last time she had seen him.

Until exhaustion would win out and sleep would overtake her. Then, her mind would give up the struggle and recount, with excruciating detail, his parting words to her. Thankfully, she wouldn't stay asleep for long. Her screams would wake her—and everyone else in the vicinity—up. Of course, as was expected, the sleepless nights and overall neglect of herself had led her to an almost catatonic state.

After that, her panicked father had pulled out the big guns and had called Renee. For anyone who knew him, it was obvious that he had reached the end of his rope. That phone call had perhaps been the hardest one he'd ever had to make in his life, but he couldn't let his daughter keep suffering the way she had been.

That was how Bella had found herself uprooted from Forks, the place she had called home all her life, and on the way to her mother's current abode in Arizona. To say the change had been a shock would have been the understatement of the century.

Green, rainy Forks was nothing like the desert she had suddenly found surrounding her. The heat, the sun, the lack of green—she had hated it all with a fiery passion. Her ghostly white complexion hadn't fit in with the tan people around her. Her quiet, somber mood had been an eyesore to the jolly people of Arizona.

But most of all, she had hated the lack of reminders. There was nothing there to bind her to him. Nothing to remind her of the time he had taken her out for a coffee at the town's only coffee shop, or when he had kissed her under the lush green cover of the centuries-old trees found at the back of her house.

At first, she hadn't talked to anyone. Her mother, Renee, had desperately tried to get her to go out and make friends, but it had been futile. Other than going to school, she had no interaction with human beings. Even that had been because she had had no other choice. She had kept to herself and never tried to connect to any of her fellow students. She didn't see the point to it, anyway. What would be the purpose to put herself out there and let someone past her defenses when it was certain that at some point they would walk out on her?

After a few attempts from a couple of girls in her classes to befriend her, which she stubbornly thwarted, everybody just let her be. Bella had been pleased. She had kept her head down, went to her classes, went home. She ate—though unwillingly—she slept, and she woke up screaming every night. She got up in the morning and repeated the same process. Life went on, without her actively participating, for another three months. She was…content. No, not content, but at least she kept going, as she had promised _him _that day. It probably hadn't been the way he had meant for her to go on, but that was the best she could do, under the circumstances.

Then, in a final desperate move from her mother to get through to her, Bella had been picked up once more and relocated to a remote place an old friend of Renee's owned. It had definitely been a shock. First the place, which was a run-down farm in the middle of the desert, miles away from any sign of civilization, and then the man who had received her there. A man as rough as the elements surrounding the house she was supposed to live in for an undetermined period of time. Or at least until she came to her senses, as her mother had declared before leaving her there.

Bella had grown to love that place, almost as much as she had grown to love and respect the man. His hard face, carved deeply by the unrelenting sun and the harsh winds that usually racked the desert he lived in, had eventually become a welcome sight to her. His quiet strength, his undeterred fortitude, his no-nonsense attitude had come to mean comfort and security to her. He never gave up when he put his mind to something. Ever. He had made it his goal to bring her back to life. And he had accomplished it. She had learned so much; she owed him even more.

Smiling at the memory, she let her eyes soar through the rugged landscape that so reminded her of him. The hard pink rocks that surrounded her. The brilliant glare of the sea in the distant horizon, almost a mirage. The quietness that signified the deep solitude of the place. Africa. A world away from home. The steep valley that housed the person who meant more to her than her own life, who was her home. After all, they say that home is where the heart is. And her heart certainly believed that its home was in the bottom of this canyon. "Edward," she whispered.

"Bella?" a voice asked her, and she jumped. Her heart leapt inside her chest as she tried to gather the courage to turn and face the owner of the familiar voice. Her breaths came in quick pants, and she could hear the rush of her blood pounding inside her veins. She slowly turned around, keeping her eyes on the ground. She couldn't face him yet. Not yet. She took in the dusty combat boots, the khaki cargo pants that covered his long, lean legs. Her gaze moved further up, cataloguing his muscled torso which was covered by a green wife-beater, the strong hands carrying…

A knot formed in her throat as she observed the weapon in his hands. Was she perceived as a threat by them? By _him_? She gulped loudly and finally found the strength to look at his face. As soon as she did, tears sprung from her eyes. She saw the disbelief written clearly in his brilliant blue orbs. He hadn't forgotten her. It had been her greatest fear all this time. That _he_—they—would move on and forget her. That it would be as if she had never existed. Unable to restrain herself, she ran the short distance separating them and jumped in his arms.

"Jasper!" she sobbed.

~~ooOOOoo~~

**A/N: **That was chapter one. I would love to hear what you thought of it. Back to you soon, hopefully.

Love,

Kallie xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

**Challenge Number/Title:** #2 – The empty glass

**Date Posted:** 02/16/2013

**Fandom:** Twilight

**Rating:** NC17

**Genre:** AH

**Content Descriptors:** Angst, Romance, Mystery

**Character Pairing:** Bella / Edward

~~ooOOOoo~~

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Hello, everybody! This is my contribution to PTB's Writing Challenge 2013. There will be one story line, under the unofficial title 'Secret Hearts', concluded in 52 chapters. My greatest thanks to TwiLighT7242 and Marly from PTB, for beta'ing this chapter for me. Okay, on with the show…

~~ooOOOoo~~

_**Secret Hearts**_

Chapter 2

Jasper stood frozen, not daring to believe his own eyes as she clutched at him like her life depended on it. His military mind was going through the implications of finding her here. What it meant for them and for her. And most importantly, how did she find them?

When the guards told him that they had spotted movement on the canyon's edge, he had been worried that their position had been compromised. He had decided to investigate, prepared to exchange fire if the need arose. He didn't enjoy it, but he couldn't let anyone get in the way of their project. It was too important to risk.

When he first spotted Bella, he knew that the person watching the movements at the bottom of the ravine was not just hiking. He had come closer, the firearm in his hands ready to shoot at the slightest provocation.

The sense of unease wouldn't leave him, though, the closer he had gotten to his target. The person lying on the rock had not noticed him yet. There had been something familiar—_dreadfully_ familiar—about the silhouette before him. When he had heard her voice whispering Edward's name, everything clicked.

Incredulous, he had called her name and saw her stiffen. Time had seemed to have stopped when he saw tears escaping her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, leaving wet trails on her dusty face, as she turned around and slowly took him in.

His watchful eyes did not miss the way she had frozen when she saw the gun in his hand. He had barely had the time to lower it to his side before she had flung herself at him, sobbing his name. That was where he stood now, unable to move from her fierce embrace unless he was prepared to use force; he didn't think he could do that to her.

"Bella? Bella, honey, what are you doing here?" he asked, but her answer—warbled through her endless sobs and broken voice—gave him very little information. "Bella, I need you to calm down for a while and answer my question. Can you do that?" he asked again, using his most soothing tone of voice.

He had always been known for his power to manipulate people's emotions. It was that—along with his high IQ and strategizing mind—that made him a valuable asset to the organization. He could make a nun lose her robes and dance can-can, his teammates always joked. He had certainly proved his value many times over the last few years.

Now, however, he felt like his mind was betraying him. He could not find a reasonable excuse to justify why or how the girl they had left behind a year ago—the girl they had tried to protect—would be here. He didn't like it one bit. The logical explanation was horrible, but he had to keep it in mind.

Even the notion that she would have sided with their enemies made him want to hurt someone. Not her, never her. He tried to find a way to justify her actions, if such was the case. She may have been fooled into believing that they were trying to help her. She may have been brainwashed. He felt his stomach turn at the thought.

Edward was going to flip a lid when he discovered this; Jasper could just imagine the scene right now. Edward would do anything to protect Bella, not believing a bad thing about her. But what if she _was_ a spy for _them_? What if she wanted to take revenge against them for abandoning her a year ago? What would they do?

That would be a problem—a major problem—and one that couldn't be solved by staying out there in the open. He thought about his options for a few moments, but very soon he realized that there wasn't much he could do.

Taking a deep breath, he retrieved a stun gun from his side pocket and shot her arm. Her eyes found his, full of betrayal, before they closed, and she sagged into his arms. Dreading the time that loomed before them, he picked her up and carried her to their headquarters.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Bella woke up, completely disoriented, and looked around her. She was in a semi-dark room with no windows. She felt her head pounding to the rhythm of her heartbeat. Lifting herself from the uncomfortable bed, she tried to yell for help. Her dry throat wouldn't cooperate, and her voice was barely discernible. She felt like she had swallowed a bucket of sand.

Trying to figure out where she was, she stood from the bed and went to the door. One hand clutched to her sore throat, while the other tried to turn the handle, despite Bella's suspicion that it wouldn't open.

She was right. As suspected, the door didn't budge. As Phil had taught her, she closed her eyes and tried to take deep breaths as a way to calm her heartbeat and recover the ability to get her bearings without panicking.

It took quite a few attempts, but she finally did it. After she had banged on the door a few more times, she leaned on the hard steel surface and let herself slide down it until she was sitting on the floor. Giving up, she wrapped her arms around her bent legs and rested her forehead on her knees.

Flashes of the last few hours had been coming back to her, and now she remembered everything. She had found them. Or more to the point, _Jasper_ had found _her_. Her eyes filled with tears as she recalled being shot in the arm. Jasper's eyes had held a mixture of pity and determination. _I guess I really am a threat to them_, she thought. Raising her eyes to the ceiling, she cursed herself for having lost her calm when she first saw him. She had been so submerged in her memories that she had broken the first rule: Always be aware of your surroundings. Always be prepared.

The sharp sound of the iron bolt being moved brought her out of her funk, and she scrambled up and managed to move before the heavy door hit her. With hasty movement she dried her tear-stained cheeks. She didn't want them to see her crying. She wasn't that weak girl anymore.

Chin held high, she looked at her captor straight in the eyes. He had changed so much, or maybe she had just never seen the real him.

"Come with me, Bella," Jasper ordered in a tone of voice that caused a chill to go down her spine. She wordlessly nodded and followed him. They moved through a series of hallways silently, the only sounds the rhythmic tapping of their shoes on the industrial floor.

Looking around nervously, she tried to figure out where she was. There was nothing but endless rows of walls and the same steel doors as the one in her 'room'. Everything was gray. Not a window anywhere. No natural light. She started feeling claustrophobic.

Jasper noticed when Bella's breathing picked up. His back stiffened even more, but he never slowed down. After two more turns, he stopped in front of a door and opened it.

Bella looked at him through her peripheral vision and quickly stepped inside. A hasty examination of the room revealed the same background as the rest of the place. It was the same gray walls, ceiling and floor, closed on all sides, no windows, only now, at the center of the room, stood a stainless steel table with two chairs on opposite sides of it.

"Sit down, please," Jasper told Bella, showing her one of the chairs. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes," Bella croaked. "Some water would be nice." She pulled the chair and sat down. It was getting harder by the moment to keep herself calm. She clasped her trembling hands together, in an attempt to hide her trepidation. Never would she have thought that on her quest to find Edward, she would end up in an interrogation room being treated like a criminal.

She was startled when a glass of water appeared before her a few minutes later. She murmured a quiet "thank you" and gulped half of the glass in one go. The cool water soothed her throat and managed to calm down her nerves a little bit.

"What are you doing here?" she heard Jasper ask. She raised her eyes and looked at him.

"What do you think I'm doing here, Jasper? Obviously, I'm studying the wildlife of the African desert," she quipped, an irreverent smirk on her face.

His austere pose showed how much he appreciated her sense of humor, so she dropped the act and huffed. Her hands rubbed her face and then went through her hair. She pulled at it harshly and shook her head.

"Is _he_ here?" she asked him with a trembling voice, but Jasper's rigid posture, arms crossed, and feet spread shoulders apart, gave nothing away. She picked up the glass again and drank the rest of the water. Then she put the cool glass on her forehead and groaned from the immediate relief. She had a splitting headache.

"You _know_ what I'm doing here, Jasper. I don't know what you want me to say. I have been looking for him for so long. I just...I had to find him," she whispered.

Focused on the empty glass in her hands, she went on. "You know, I was always a glass-half-full kind of girl. Things were never easy for me, but I always managed to see _some_ good in most situations. And then I met him. And the glass was finally full to the brim. I fell in love," she said, rolling the still-cold glass in her hands. She looked at its shape, turning it around in her hand. The way it reflected the light in the room; the way the images were distorted through its grooves. The emptiness. A few minutes ago it was full, serving its purpose. But now it was just an empty vessel, waiting to be cleaned and put away until someone needed it again.

In a way, she had a lot in common with the glass. They had both been used and put away without a second thought when their usefulness had expired. When Edward decided that he needed new distractions and had just left her—an empty shell—to seek them out. Who would give a second thought to a glass? Especially an ornery one like the one in her hands? Like the one she had always been—never the delicate sparkling crystal of a champagne flute, just an everyday glass—simple, coarse and easily forgotten. Easily replaced. A dime a dozen. Always.

"Do you know what happened to me when all of you left, Jasper? When my family, when _my life_ walked away from me? Do you...does _he_ care to know what happened to that full glass?" she asked, getting angrier by the second.

Every torment she had been through, every sleepless night, every scream and tear she had shed came back to her, and she was livid. She threw the glass on the concrete wall and watched as it shattered to a thousand little pieces, just as her heart had. She showed him the jagged remains of the glass on the floor.

"That is what happened to me, Jazz," she said in a dead voice.

"Bella, I'm..." he started, but she didn't let him finish.

"No. Don't, Jasper. I'm not looking for your pity. I've had more than I can take of _that_, really. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me," she spat. She pinned her eyes on his, light brown against clear blue, and kept her gaze unwavering.

After an undeterminable amount of time, he nodded slightly, showing he understood. She lowered her eyes and stared at her tightly clasped hands. She could see him in her peripheral vision, as he stood for a moment debating what to do, before he went on the other side of the table and sat down.

"I don't feel sorry for you, Bella," he said in a calm voice. "But I _am_ sorry for the way we left. Unfortunately, the circumstances didn't allow us to..."

"Spare me the heartfelt apologies, Jasper," she barked. "Anyway, it's not you who should be apologizing. Where is _he_?" she asked, venom seeping in her tone.

"He's...around."

An eyebrow rose. "Around?"

"Bella, before you are permitted to talk to him, a few things must be cleared. Number one, how you found us."

Leaning back on her chair, she crossed her arms in a show of defiance. Having had her say, at least partly, made her heart beat a little easier and her confidence return. "Permitted?" she asked. "You think that after having scoured the globe to find you guys, I should—or would—wait for permission to speak to my ex-boyfriend?"

"How did you find us?" Jasper asked, ignoring her cutting question.

"If I answer, will you tell me who you really are?" she fired back.

The tight line his lips formed gave away his irritation. She sighed. "I had help from a friend."

"What friend?"

"A human one. Male, to be exact. A good friend."

"A lover?" he asked incredulously.

"Really? How is that any of your concern?" she answered, biting back the urge to laugh hysterically. The notion alone that anything of that nature could exist between her and Phil was just hilarious. "Anyway—to answer your question—no. Not a lover. Just a friend."

"I need you to tell me everything you know about him," he told her in a commanding voice. "Bella, you don't seem to realize what you've gotten yourself into, but things are not as they seem to be. There are people who can do a lot of damage to all of us."

"You must think I'm very stupid if you believe that I got here without learning a couple of things about you." She shook her head. "I mean, it's not like I found you in the middle of a mall in California, is it?" she asked him.

"Bella, please, I don't want to have to resort to other measures. Just tell me," Jasper pleaded with her. He was torn in two. A part of him admired the spunk she portrayed by showing up in the middle of nowhere—an incredible feat for the girl he used to know—and facing him like this, without a hint of fear. She seemed to have grown a spine in the time since he had last seen her. He liked it.

Another part of him worried, though. Who had taught her? And for what purpose? He had to find out, and he couldn't stop until she told him. The next words that exited her mouth had him frozen in his seat.

"Phil Dwyer."

"_What_?"

"You heard me. You asked a question; I answered. The person who helped me was Phil," she stated matter-of-factly.

"How do you know him?"

"He brought me back to life," Bella whispered, and a sweet smile lit up her face.

~~ooOOOoo~~

**A/N: **That was chapter two. I would love to hear what you thought of it. Back to you soon, hopefully.

Love,

Kallie xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**Challenge Number/Title:** #3 – Word Play

**Date Posted:** 02/22/2013

**Fandom:** Twilight

**Rating:** NC17

**Genre:** AH

**Content Descriptors:** Angst, Romance, Mystery

**Character Pairing:** Bella / Edward

~~ooOOOoo~~

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Hello, everybody! This is my contribution to PTB's Writing Challenge 2013. There will be one story line, under the unofficial title 'Secret Hearts', concluded in 52 chapters. My greatest thanks to MOD Mel and JulieToo from PTB, for beta'ing this chapter for me. I have been remiss when I posted the previous chapter. I forgot to thank BelleDuJour for pre-reading my chapters. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, you have no idea how much your words of encouragement have helped me find some confidence in my writing. Okay, on with the show…

~~ooOOOoo~~

_**Secret Hearts**_

Chapter 3

"Hello, Mr. Whitlock. To what do I owe the honor of your call?"

"Good evening, Sir. I hope I haven't caught you at a difficult time."

"No, not at all. Is there something I can do for you?"

Jasper took a deep breath. "Yes, Sir. Do you know a woman named Isabella Swan?"

"Yes, I do. I gather she finally found you?" Phil asked and scrubbed his scruffy chin. "Persistent little thing, that one," he mumbled.

"Yes, she did. Sir, with all due respect, what the hell were you thinking?" Jasper asked in a very, very frustrated tone of voice.

Phil didn't particularly like the not-so-subtle inflection, and his voice authoritatively rung through the phone. "Mind your language, Agent. Remember who you are speaking to."

"Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir," Jasper rushed to say. "But honestly, how could you send her to the other end of the world on a wild goose chase? You know the dangers better than any of us."

He had spent the last half hour trying to gather the courage to make this call. It wasn't par for the course to call the founder of the organization you worked for to demand explanations. But Bella's life and theirs—not to mention an entire operation—was on the line. It was not the time to beat around the bush.

"She put herself in danger. I almost shot her on sight when I found her watching us. If it had been _someone_ _else_, she _would_ have been shot." A shudder went through Jasper's body when he remembered their meeting. "She could have compromised our position. She may have."

"She hasn't," came the reply through the line. "She has been taught well."

"Then why was I able to surprise her on that summit? She was completely unaware of her surroundings. How would she know if someone was following her if she paid no attention?" Jasper retorted.

There was silence for a few moments before Phil asked, "Was she being followed?"

A heavy sigh was Jasper's first response. "No. I made sure of it before I took her to the compound," was the second. "But it could have been—it probably _was_—just blind luck. The fact that she reached us safely was nothing short of miraculous."

"It wasn't luck, Agent. You don't see her very clearly. You don't really know her."

"I used to. We all did. She's changed. She's more..."

"She _is_ more. She has strong blood. Where is she now?"

Jasper scratched his chin and rubbed his tired eyes. The day was supposed to be quiet. And he had yet to inform Edward of her presence in the compound. That was _not_ a conversation he was anxious to have. If brooding were a kingdom, Edward would have been its rightful king. He sighed. "She is back in her room. I sent her there so I could speak to you. To confirm her story."

"Have her call me later, Mr. Whitlock." He paused for a moment. "Is that all for now?"

Jasper understood when he was being dismissed, so he ended the call and let his body fall heavily back on his chair. The conversation had allayed only one of his concerns. She clearly wasn't a spy for the enemies, but that was now only a speck in the cluster-fuck that was about to unfold.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Back in her room, Bella sat quietly on the bed and did some of the exercises Phil had taught her to help her focus. Breathing steadily in and out, she closed her eyes and opened her ears. It was quiet, but not completely. Footsteps echoed in the labyrinth of hallways, a hint of activity close by.

That place was like a tomb. Dug deep in the body of the rock, it stayed hidden from dangerous, prying eyes. It was huge, from what she had gathered. On the surface, only a small, trodden shack was visible. The rest of the compound was an underground network of tunnels, not unlike an ant farm. She had watched the place from that summit for a couple of days—for signs of activity—finding it hard to believe that the location she had found was the right one.

She felt ashamed for the way Jasper had surprised her. There must be another entrance to this place, she thought. Probably several and all guarded. She had lost her focus for a few minutes, and Bella knew that it would have been bad if anyone but him had found her. The memories had been too persistent, and she had given in, losing her concentration.

Opening her eyes, she waited for Jasper to appear at her door. Once the first bout of emotion was behind her, she wouldn't let anyone catch her off guard. She had recognized his footsteps as he approached her room. "Come in," she told him. When he entered the room, she looked at him and waited.

"Director Dwyer said to call him back. He verified your story," Jasper told her calmly.

The smirk that appeared on her face was belied by the sadness in her eyes. "You really believed that I would try to hurt you?" she quietly asked him.

Afraid of the answer, she dropped her eyes on his feet. She saw them coming closer and stopping in front of her. Then he knelt down and enveloped her trembling hands in his.

"Honestly? I didn't know what to believe, Bella. I haven't seen you in a year and...the way we left Forks...I just didn't know. There is more at stake here than a friendly reunion. Things you don't know. Things you shouldn't know, but you do. And the others still have no idea that you're here. I can only imagine what will happen when that particular can of worms is opened." He shook his head and tugged at her arm.

"Come on, Belly Nelly, let's go get you something to eat. There's always a brighter outlook on a full stomach," he said and teasingly ruffled her hair.

"Hey," she cried indignantly. "Don't mess with the hair. I'm already sporting a cabbage patch head. I don't need you making it worse. Jerk!"

His laugh warmed her heart until she heard him say, "Well, your wonderful hairdo will be perfectly in line with the menu. Today we're having cabbage soup for lunch."

The way her face contorted in absolute disgust brought a new bout of laughter to Jasper. He pulled her up and squished her in his arms.

"I missed you, Bella. Whatever happens, remember that. We all missed you, okay?" he told her in a reassuring voice.

Bella tried to swallow the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat and blinked back tears. "I missed you too, Jazzy," she said and hugged him tighter. A few moments later, they pulled back and tried to compose themselves.

"So...cabbage soup, huh?"

"Yep," he replied, smirking.

"Any chance for a Pop-Tart?"

He barked a laugh. "We'll see," he said.

~~ooOOOoo~~

**A/N: **That was chapter three. I would love to hear what you thought of it. Back to you soon, hopefully.

Love,

Kallie xoxo


	4. Chapter 4

**Challenge Number/Title:** #4 – A mother's forgiveness

**Date Posted:** 02/28/2013

**Fandom:** Twilight

**Rating:** NC17

**Genre:** AH

**Content Descriptors:** Angst, Romance, Mystery

**Character Pairing:** Bella / Edward

~~ooOOOoo~~

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Hello again! This is my contribution to PTB's Writing Challenge 2013. There will be one story line, under the unofficial title **'Secret Hearts'**, concluded in 52 chapters. My greatest thanks to Gigi Scott and remylebeauishot from PTB, for beta'ing this chapter for me.

Hugs and kisses to the great BelleDuJour for pre-reading my chapters. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, you have no idea how much your words of encouragement have helped me find some confidence in my writing. Okay, on with the show…

~~ooOOOoo~~

_**Secret Hearts**_

**Chapter 4**

Bella stood frozen in the entrance of the room, looking inside. It was like a train wreck. She wanted to look away from the scene in front of her, but her eyes wouldn't move no matter how much she screamed inside her head. Her hands gripped the door frame to help her stay upright as she felt her legs giving out.

When she had left the dining room, she had pleaded with Jasper to tell her where Edward was. Reluctantly, he had told her how to reach the training room. She had convinced Jasper to let her speak alone with Edward; a request she suddenly regretted as her eyes took in the sight of him in another woman's arms.

She tried to breathe, but her lungs seemed to be unable to function. To do the thing that millions of other lungs around the world did involuntarily. Breathe. Tears sprung from her eyes and slowly trickled down her face. They seemed to be doing their job just fine, without her having to order them—unlike her stupid lungs.

The couple was absorbed in each other; they didn't seem to feel her presence in the room. The woman's hands were tangled in Edward's hair, and his were gripping her forearms. Their lips were molded together in a heated kiss. With tremendous effort, Bella managed to draw in a painful breath. The sound that escaped her lips was nothing more than a quiet whimper, but that was all it took.

Suddenly two heads whipped around, and two pairs of eyes were locked on hers. One pair of dark blue irises showed mild surprise and intense irritation. The other pair was the most beautiful, captivating green she had ever seen. The surprise in those eyes was not mild. They were wide, as if they had just witnessed a ghost. Bella supposed that they had, indeed, seen one—the ghost of lovers past.

In a fraction of a second, the memory of the first time she had seen those eyes came to her mind. When she had woken up that morning, ready for just another school day, she had not expected it to be the day that would change her life forever. She had been walking in the school hallway, trying to keep her books from slipping through her hands. In usual Bella fashion—not paying attention to where she was going—she had collided with a hard body. The force of the collision had propelled her backwards, and she had fallen on her bottom, books landing everywhere around her.

Humiliated by the latest show of her legendary clumsiness, she had scrambled to pick up her books, mumbling apologies. When a hand had reached for her offering help, she had looked up, ready to utter another apology to her unsuspecting victim.

The words she had been gearing up to mutter had died in her throat in an instant. The reason? A pair of the most beautiful green eyes had been trained on her face. Only they hadn't been simply green. Oh, _no_. They had been the most vibrant dark green color she had ever seen, dotted with tiny specks of black, gold, and grey.

Her mouth had opened and closed several times, but no sound had come out. She had been captivated. Those green laser beams had been holding her in place, searching, concern evident in their brilliant depths. There had been something else there too, something that she couldn't place, but that had had her heart beating faster and faster in her ribcage.

There had been a spark, like their eyes were exchanging electricity; the air between them had crackled with it. The hand that had reached out for her had touched her, and the current had moved from air to flesh.

"Are you all right?" a husky voice had asked, and she had nodded slowly—almost in a trance—unable to speak or to move her eyes from his. It had been the first time something like this had happened to her, but not the last. Whenever they had looked at each other, whenever they touched from that moment on, the same current seemed to come alive. It had always been as intense as it was then.

That same voice whispering her name brought her out of her stupor. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to break the connection. The second time she heard him call her name, she felt like a jolt went through her body, giving her the strength to flee the scene of her torture.

She ran. She didn't know where she was going, but she understood that if she stayed—even a moment longer—she would die. Her heart was about to explode. Her feet pumped underneath her with a force fueled by the need to be away. Far away from the death scene of the last vestige of hope she had nursed all this time.

_Stupid Bella_, she thought. _Stupid, delusional Bella_. These words, admonishments really, struck her brain again and again, trying to imprint in her mind the truth she had known all this time but had refused to believe.

The frantic calls of her name and the sound of feet pounding behind her made her run harder. She had to get away. She had to escape. She couldn't let Edward catch her; she would collapse in front of him. _That is not an option_, she thought. Without knowing how, she found herself in front of Jasper just as he was exiting his office.

The shocked expression on Jasper's face told her all she had to know about the way she looked. She pushed him away from the door and locked herself in the room just as Edward reached her and started pounding on the door.

For the second time in one day, she found herself leaning on a steel door, trying to become as small as possible by folding in on herself. The pain clawing at her heart was unbearable. She could not stop crying. Painful sobs were racking her body, and she felt that her mind was slipping away from her.

Desperate cries from outside the door had her reaching her hands to her ears to muffle them. "Shut up," she screamed. "Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me _the fuck_ alone. Leave. Oh, God! Just go. I can't stand it anymore."

Broken sobs from the other side of the door and incessant banging led her to flee to the other side of the room. She frantically searched for a way out of there, even though she knew that there was none. She was trapped. Her hands went in the tangled mass of her hair and pulled. The pain was a welcome distraction from the sharp-clawed monster that was tearing at her heart.

One moment, one single moment, had been enough to undo all the months of effort she had put in breaking herself out of the torment _he_ had inflicted on her when he had left. She laughed at the irony. That had been nothing compared to the agony she currently found herself in. Knowing there would be other distractions and having them thrown in her face were two entirely different things.

Starting as a small chuckle, her laughter gained force until she was hysterical. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but she couldn't stop them. She knew that she was losing it; she just knew. There was nothing she could do to stop it, though. She realized that she wouldn't come out of this sane, but she couldn't control herself anymore.

It had always struck her as odd, how deeply she felt for Edward. But it had only been just him. She hadn't reacted that way when her mother had left them. She was a calm person. She hadn't ever felt the need to attach herself to another human being with so much fierceness until he came along. He had always been her Achilles' heel. And just like with Achilles, that single flaw would be her undoing.

Like a caged lion she paced the room, feeling the walls closing in on her. The pounding on the door was relentless, as were the calls for her to open up. She stared at that door, the barrier that kept her in this prison, and she wished with all her heart to be granted the power to blast the damned door and the person behind it so that she would finally be free.

With trembling hands, she picked up the phone and called a number she knew by heart. When she heard his voice answering, she broke down again and sobbed. "Phil, I have to get away from here. It was a mistake. I never should have come. Please, help me!" she pleaded through her sobs. His soothing voice slowly pushed away the pain, and she was able to breathe again.

"Are you okay, little girl?" Phil asked.

"No," she told him. "Please, come. I need you."

"Okay, okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. Just hold on, honey. I'll come and get you," he promised her. She put the phone down and slipped into her previous position, curled in a little ball. She could hear voices from the hallway, muffled by the heavy door. Argument. A phone rang. The shouting stopped. Conversation floated in her ears as she stared at nothing in particular. She tried to focus, to make herself go to another place where he couldn't find her, but her trance was interrupted when Edward started shouting once again. "No, Bella! No, you can't leave. Please open the door. Let me explain, _please_! BELLA! Don't...don't go," he screamed, his voice breaking in the end.

Bella couldn't understand. What did he want from her? He had wanted her, and he had her. He had stopped wanting her, and he left her. She had become a broken shell of the girl she was before he had stormed into her life. Now he had someone else, and he still meant to keep her here? For what? To torment her some more? To see her crumble before his very eyes? What was the point of it all? Try as she might, Bella couldn't understand.

Hours passed, and she stood motionless. She could still hear him through the door; he had never left. He had argued with Jasper, he had fought with other people whose voices she didn't recognize, but he had never left. He sounded as broken as she felt, but there was nothing she could do about it. This had been the straw that broke the camel's back.

There was a quiet murmuring in her ears, memories of a conversation she had had with Phil a long time ago. It had been early June and she had just gotten off the phone with her mother. It had been a hot night, and she had been sweating like crazy. She had been there at the ranch for a little more than two weeks.

Irritated by her mother's persistence to "just get over it," she had been fuming. There wasn't much to do around that place—or anything to do, really. So she had left the small house and had ventured to the barn that housed two of the most beautiful horses she had ever seen.

She had been stroking the strong neck of the large chestnut horse Phil owned, when she felt his presence. Her back had stiffened as she had expected him to give her a lecture, but it never came. He had, instead, stood by her side and looked at his pride and joy, Lucifer. It was an apt name for the larger than life animal.

He wouldn't speak, so deciding to break the silence, she had said, "He's beautiful."

"Mhmm," had been Phil's eloquent answer.

Shuffling her feet, she had looked at the older man through her peripheral vision. Biting the bullet, she had whispered, "Aren't you going to tell me that it's wrong to keep this attitude up?"

His eyes had shifted from the horse to her, as his deep voice answered her, "No. Should I?"

Her shoulders had shrugged. "Everybody else seems to want to. Everyone has an opinion. _My_ opinion doesn't matter much."

"Well, I _could_ give you an opinion if you absolutely wanted one, but I don't think that you do. So why bother?" he had asked nonchalantly.

After that, they had just stood next to each other, not speaking for quite a while, until he broke the companionable silence. "She cares, you know. I don't know about the others, but she cares. She doesn't like seeing you hurting like this."

Bella had scoffed. "Yeah, right. She cares so much about me that she abandoned me—her three-year-old daughter—and her husband and fled toward a life without pestering responsibilities."

Shaking his head, Phil had remained quiet for a couple of minutes. "She had reasons, Bella. Valid reasons. She loved both of you, and her heart was breaking, but she had no other choice at the time," he finally said.

"Enlighten me, then," she had challenged him.

"Not my story to tell."

"I don't even care," she had muttered bitterly.

"Yes, you do. But you have to talk to her about that."

"Yeah, don't hold your breath."

A deep laugh had escaped Phil then, and he had ruffled Bella's hair, annoying her. "So stubborn. That, too, is a common trait between you two."

"I'm nothing like Renee," she had grumbled. "I take after my father."

"Oh, squirt; you are so, so wrong. But either way, you won't see it until you're ready. Come on, let's head inside. I have another story to tell you. One that I'm free to share."

They had left the barn in silence and had walked the small distance to the house, each preoccupied by their own thoughts. Once inside, they had gone to the living room and had sat down.

Bella had had her eyes trained on the scuffed wooden floor, wondering what it was that Phil knew about her mother. His voice had startled her when he had spoken next.

"I was born in a family of wealth. A long line of Irish doctors and lawyers on both sides of my family tree." He had scratched his chin, wondering how much to tell her. "My father and I never saw eye to eye. It was a difficult relationship, and somehow, my mother was always getting caught in the middle. To make a long story short, the day I turned eighteen, I enlisted in the army."

He had raised his eyes and looked at Bella, trying to make her understand the reason for sharing this with her. "When I told them what I'd done, a huge fight started. Words were exchanged, and I just up and left. I still remember the devastation in my mother's eyes," he had said, his eyes somewhere far away.

"Anyway, many years passed since that day, and I hadn't talked to either of them. I had seen and experienced things that...no person should ever to see or have to go through. I grew up and gained perspective," he had said, his voice sad.

"When that phone call came, informing me that she was very sick and had asked to see me, I gave everything up and ran." It was getting difficult to hide his emotions; that much had been clear to Bella. She had stayed silent, waiting for him to finish his story.

"I remember on that plane back home, how I bartered with God to let me get to her in time. To tell her how much I missed her and how sorry I was for everything I had put her through because of my stubbornness and my endless pride," he had said somberly.

"I wanted to kiss her hands that had held me when I fell as a boy and nourished me as a baby. See her eyes shine with happy tears. Witness the smile her lips had held only for me, her precious son. She was truly a remarkable woman, and I had hurt her so deeply. I wanted to ask her forgiveness for the way I had left and the lack of contact over the years. None of it had been her fault, but she ended up paying anyway." His gaze was in the past, seeing in his mind the good mother Isobel had been to him. "She had been the rock I relied upon and the cool, deep shade of the beautiful tree that protected me from the harsh summer sun."

A deep sorrow had filled Bella's heart at the sight of the strong man in front of her, repentant for his misdeeds. She had known that he was sharing this personal stuff for a reason; there had been a lesson somewhere in there for her. She had wanted to hug him, but bit her tongue and let him continue on with his story.

Continuing, he had told her of all the things he came up with, during that long flight home, to make it up to his mother once she got better. He would return home, he would make amends with his father and try hard to get along with him. He would do pretty much anything to see her smile again. A wistful smile had graced his face at that point.

"So, what happened? Did you tell her? Did she forgive you?" she had asked in a trembling voice. She had suspected that this particular story did not have a happy ending.

"I think you know what happened, Bella. I was too late. When I arrived at the house, she was already gone. I never got the chance," he had admitted. His eyes burrowed into hers, trying to deliver the message of the story he told.

Bella had shaken her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry," she had told him in a hushed voice. "But I don't understand why you told me this. I mean, ours are two entirely different situations."

Phil had nodded, acknowledging the truth of her words. "I had two reasons. The first one was that life is too short to waste. As much as you claim otherwise, it is obvious to me that you love your mother. Ask her the right questions, listen to her answers, and then—when you have all the facts—you can decide if you want to forgive her and have a real relationship with her."

"And the second?" she had asked.

"Seek closure," he had said.

"Closure…" she had repeated absentmindedly.

"Yes, closure. Nothing is going to go away until you face it head on. Confront your problems, seek the answers you need, and if things can't be mended, just let go. Be brave and spare yourself the heartache of 'what if.' Only _then_ can you be free."

The last words he had told her resonated in her mind. _Be free_. She hadn't understood exactly what he had meant then, but she did now. _That_ was the reason he had sent her here. To seek closure for the wound that kept festering all this time, keeping her prisoner of the words she hadn't been able to tell Edward when he had decided to go and leave her behind.

_Could I be that strong, though?_ she questioned herself. _Yes_, was the answer. She would tell Edward all she had to say, and then she would let him go, setting herself free in the process.

Determined, she stood up and wiped her tear-stricken face. She took deep breaths and opened the door. There, on the floor beside it, sat the man who had haunted her for the past year. He, too, had his reasons for abandoning her—although, she doubted that they had been as noble as her mother's—and just like she had done with Renee before, she would tell Edward how his flight had affected her.

"Edward," she said softly, and his eyes snapped up to meet hers. Guilt, remorse, and desperation were clearly visible in his darkened irises. "We have to talk."

~~ooOOOoo~~

**A/N: S**o, this was chapter four. I would seriously appreciate it if you could drop me a word or two and tell me what you think of my little story. Whether it be good or bad. I want to know if what I'm writing reaches you and if it creates the feeling I want to induce. Okay, enough begging for now. More begging next time. Just kidding. Maybe. See you soon.

Love,

Kallie xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

**Challenge Number/Title:** #5 – The Limerick

**Date Posted:** 03/05/2013

**Fandom:** Twilight

**Rating:** NC17

**Genre:** AH

**Content Descriptors:** Angst, Romance, Mystery

**Character Pairing:** Bella / Edward

~~ooOOOoo~~

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Hello again! This is my contribution to PTB's Writing Challenge 2013. There will be one story line, under the unofficial title **'Secret Hearts'**, concluded in 52 chapters. My greatest thanks to Trilby97 and 4mejasper from PTB, for beta'ing this chapter for me.

Hugs and kisses to the great BelleDuJour for pre-reading my chapters. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, you have no idea how much your words of encouragement have helped me find some confidence in my writing. Okay, on with the show…

~~ooOOOoo~~

_**Secret Hearts**_

**Chapter 5**

"We have to talk."

Those were the words Bella had said that had Edward's stomach clenching in fear. The tone of her voice when she had uttered them had been lifeless. The look in her eyes was distant, foreign. He didn't know this Bella, and, the truth was, he feared her. He feared the power that she—even though unknowingly—held over him. She had walked in at the worst moment, when he was trying to extricate himself from Tanya's clutches, and she had misinterpreted the whole scene.

Beads of sweat were forming above his eyebrows as he tried to come up with the right words to convince her. He had only ever been hers; no one else could find purchase in his heart. "Bella, please let me explain. It wasn't me; I wasn't kissing her. I was trying to get away from..."

"No," she interrupted him. "I don't care about that. I just had a knee-jerk reaction from the shock of seeing you again. You have every right to live your life the way you want to. With whomever you want to. That wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about."

His dark eyes searched her face, trying to figure out the truth. Her reaction had been one of jealousy when she saw him with Tanya in the training room, but suddenly she acted as if she could care less about him. He didn't know what to believe. Her previous frantic behavior or her current calm aloofness?

Baffled, he stood in front of her silently. His body hummed with the familiar current that was always present when she was near him. His hands trembled with the restraint he had to exercise to keep them from reaching out to her. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked with trepidation.

"When you left me, back then in Forks, I had been too stunned to say anything. I had been too busy trying to keep breathing. You didn't give me time to ask any questions, or even have my say in the whole thing."

Anger rising, she clenched her fists and took deep breaths. However difficult, she couldn't miss this opportunity to cleanse herself from the poison of self-doubt her heart had been filled with. "I won't ask you why you didn't love me. That was your prerogative. I don't blame you for that. But I do blame you for lying to me the whole time we were together."

Trembling, Edward raised his hand to touch her beautiful face. "Bella, oh God, I'm so sorry for what I did back then. But the things I said that day were all lies. I never..."

"No," she barked. "You've had your chance to talk then, and talk you did. Now it's my turn. If you ever felt anything _real_ about me, you will listen."

He hung his head in shame and lowered his eyes. "Okay," he said quietly. He knew what was coming and prepared to hear it. It would be brutal, but if she got a chance to air her grievances, maybe they would manage to heal and start over. There was nothing he wanted more than that.

"When I first saw you," she whispered, "I thought you were an angel. You captivated me with your beautiful eyes and the concern that shone in them for my wellbeing. I realize now that I was infatuated and took things out of context."

Edward tried to object, but her cold glare shut him up quickly.

"I mistook simple human concern for love and ran away with it. In the months we were..._friends_...I brushed away any unease I felt about your reluctance to talk about yourself or your family," she continued.

"I always found excuses to justify why you wouldn't share with me tidbits of your life before Forks, like I did with you." Her lips quivered as she tried to stifle the emotions that were overwhelming her. "I understand now that there were things that couldn't be revealed, but you were completely closed off."

"You never shared that part of you with me, because you didn't feel the level of connection that I felt with you. And that would have been all right, if you had just stated from the beginning, what you made very clear at the end." She stopped and took a deep breath.

"I was merely a distraction from the boring life in Forks. It would have been easier to swallow that, and I would have protected my heart. But you chose not to, and I didn't."

A dreadful sense flooded Edward at hearing her words. She sounded so final! "No, Bella! You don't understand," he cried frantically. "Nothing about what I said that awful day was true. Not a single part of it. You have to believe me!" he pleaded.

Pulling at his hair, he started pacing the room. "There was so much you didn't know and I wasn't at liberty to discuss with you. It was killing me, but I had to leave and convince you not to look for me. That was why I said those vile things. But they were all lies, Bella! You're here now, and that means that you know some of it already. I can tell you the rest, if you'll let me," he begged her. "I always loved you. I still do," he told her quietly.

"It's too late for that, Edward. I don't know if you're telling the truth. It's hard to distinguish." She shook her head and turned away from him, trying to regain her composure. "You are a very good liar, and my heart can't afford another mistake," she murmured.

"The point is," she continued, "that I need to let go of that naive girl; let go of you. I need to get closure in order to move on from all that heartache."

Turning back around, she gave him a look that stabbed his heart with pain. "You don't know what this past year has been like for me, Edward. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. You can't stand here and say you love me, when it was _you_ who put me through that _hell_," she yelled at him.

"Yes, I can," he shouted back. "Because it was never my choice. I would never willingly let go of you." He grasped her hands and squeezed them in his. "But I was given no choice. It was either leave, or get you killed. Would you have stayed? If you were in my position, if you knew that your mere presence was putting me in danger, what would you have done? I. Had. No. Choice."

She ripped her hands from his and got in his face. Her fist struck his chest. "I would have fought. I would have told you that I couldn't stay. I would have never, _ever_ told you that our time together was nothing more than a distraction. You killed me that day, Edward. I've been walking dead since then." She hit him again. "All I've ever wanted was your love. But now I don't want that anymore. Now all I want is to be free from your ghost. Let me go! Please!"

"No. I can't do that. You still love me. If you didn't, you wouldn't freak out about what you saw in that room today. You wouldn't haul yourself to the other side of the planet to find me. You love me as much as I love you," he said and crushed his lips to hers.

Blindsided by his sudden move, Bella found herself unable to react at first. His lips were burning hers, his hands anchoring themselves in her hair, keeping her in place, making her scalp tingle. She tried to stay still, to not give in, but her body had other ideas.

Without thinking about it, her hands were wrapped around his shoulders and her fingers weaved through his hair. Pulling it, she heard him release a growl. He took two steps forward and had her pinned against the wall. He pulled one hand from her hair and circled it around her waist, bringing them impossibly closer.

Her gasp from the overwhelming touch gave him the opportunity to thrust his tongue inside her mouth and claim it. Feeling dizzy, she let a whimper escape. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't take control of her own body. Her pelvis ground on his erection, and he groaned and released her lips to move his ministrations to her long neck. His other hand came down and rounded her waist, keeping her in an iron grip.

Eyes closed, she tried to stave the hunger that seemed to consume every part of her. She had missed that feeling so much. She needed his touch like she needed water.

"Oh, God, Bella. I missed you so much," he whispered against her heated skin, but instead of inflaming her, those words acted like ice water—dousing her flames, turning her blood cold. She froze in his arms, unable to believe how easy it was for him to make her forget everything.

The instant he felt her grow still as a statue in his arms, Edward knew. He had lost her. He stopped kissing her and drew deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. "No," he whispered, his breath creating goose bumps on her heated skin. "Bella, no. Please," he begged. His forehead fell on her shoulder and he watched the way her chest moved rapidly with her shallow breathing.

"Let me go, Edward," she pleaded.

His hands, still twisted around her middle, squeezed her tighter for a second and then released her. Immediately he stepped back, keeping his eyes on the floor. Heavy breathing was the only sound heard in the eerily quiet room. He turned away from her and put his arms on the desk, feeling that without anything to support him he would collapse in a pile of ash.

Tears dropped from his eyes and fell on the dark mahogany desk, creating patterns his mind was trying to decipher. Anything to avoid the pain. He couldn't understand how this hurt so much when he had made the decision to live without her a year ago. He should be able to do this. He should be used to the loneliness by now.

But he wasn't. He never got over her, and he never stopped hurting, even though he had been the one to leave. But now he would have to let her go. Because Bella wanted it. Because she wanted to be free of him. His heart was breaking, but he would do it for her. "So, this is it?" he asked with a barely discernible voice.

No sound came from her lips, but the silence was answer enough. He nodded once and left the room, without looking at her. It would have been impossible to leave if he did. Just before he opened the door, he whispered, "For what it's worth, I'm sorry about everything. I wish you the best. I love you." Then he disappeared behind the door.

Bella remained still with her back against the wall—where Edward's passionate embrace had pushed her—for a long time after he had left. Her trembling fingers traced her kiss-swollen lips again and again, remembering his feverish kisses.

A sliver of doubt weaseled its way into her mind and started wreaking havoc into her jumbled thoughts. Stubbornly, she quelled it by reminding herself that he had kissed her like that before, and then he had left her to deal with a broken heart.

_No, I made the right decision_, she thought. _We could never work. It's better to cut my losses now, before it's too late._ Slowly, she detached herself from the wall and stood in front of the desk, where he had been standing minutes ago. Her fingers traced the wet splotches on the grainy wood and her own tears fell from her eyes and joined his.

She brushed her fingers through those tears, mingling them together and then brought her wet finger-pads to her lips. "I forgive you. I love you. Goodbye," she whispered and left.

She spent the rest of the day in the solitude of her room. The closed, suffocating aura of the dark room didn't bother her anymore. It fit with the state her heart and mind were in. She didn't accept anyone's company. Jasper and even Carlisle showed up, but she hadn't allowed either of them to come in. She couldn't accept their excuses and apologies when she had driven the man she loved away for the same reason. They had abandoned her just as much as he had. She had considered them family.

The next day dawned, and Bella was still sitting ramrod-straight on the bed. She hadn't been able to close her eyes last night; the memories were haunting her. Around noon, she got up and headed to the dining room to get some lunch into her empty stomach. She hadn't eaten anything since yesterday noon.

Getting there, she saw that the dining room was empty, except for one lonely figure sitting at the far side of the room. Grabbing a tray, she put a couple of pancakes and a glass of milk on it and moved toward him.

When she got there, she gestured to the empty chair opposite him and at his nod she sat down. She looked at the almost empty mug of coffee in his hands and the weary look on his face. "So, what's up?" she asked.

His discerning eyes studied her face for a few moments. He could see the devastation there. It was obvious. He only hoped that time would heal her wounds.

"_What's up?_ Is that a way to talk to your elders?" he asked, amused.

"You're not elder. You're forever young," she quipped. Her hands fiddled nervously with a pancake, tearing it into tiny pieces until his voice stopped her.

"Are you going to eat it or demolish it?"

She ignored his question and asked, "When did you get here?"

"About an hour ago. I was waiting for you to show up."

"Why didn't you call for me?" she asked, feeling hurt.

"I didn't want to interrupt your rest."

"_Rest?_ There's no rest for the wicked. Isn't that what they say?" she said, trying to make light of her appearance.

"How are you? Really?" he demanded in that commanding voice of his.

Tears brimmed in her eyes but she blinked rapidly to quell them. "A mess. I missed you, Phil," she told him.

"I missed you too, pumpkin. Now come, give your old friend Phil a hug."

She jumped up and ran to him. The moment his warm arms embraced her, the tears came back. "It's over," she sobbed. "I ended it. It hurts so much!"

"Sshhh, honey. Calm down. Are you sure of your decision?"

"I can't trust him. Not again. I couldn't stand it if he betrayed me again," she quietly told him.

He kissed the side of her forehead. "Then you're sure. Now all you have to do is give it time," he said. When he saw her ready to object, he added, "Wounds take time to heal, pumpkin, and your heart has been wounded for so long. Give it time, okay?"

She stifled her sobs and nodded.

"Good girl," he said and patted her head.

"Hey, I'm not your damn horse," she cried indignantly and swatted his hand. They both started laughing and hugged each other.

She looked into his eyes and saw his concern for her clearly drawn in them. She didn't want him to worry about her anymore and decided to do something to alleviate the tension.

Back in Arizona, they had engaged in a sort of competition. They would come up with limericks, and the prize for the best one would be a beer. It had all started the night when Bella had been at one of her lowest points. It had been June 20th, Edward's birthday. She hadn't talked to Phil all day, choosing to sulk around the horses and taking a long walk around the ranch instead. Phil hadn't bothered her at all, respecting her wish to be left alone. He had probably understood that he would have made things worse by pestering her at that time.

_He had always been a wise man,_ Bella thought.

So, when she had returned from her walk, it was already dark. She had found him sitting outside, a beer in his hand, silently looking at the stars. He hadn't shown any signs that he had noticed her arrival, and Bella had sat down next to him and let her eyes take in the wonder of a dark sky filled with stars. There were so many, much more than she had seen her entire life. Above her, a velvety black canvas embroidered with millions of tiny diamonds sparkled, making her feel small and insignificant.

A sigh had left her lips and silent tears filled her eyes. "I have never seen so many stars. Forks is constantly under a cloud cover. A starry night is a rare sight there," she had whispered.

"Mmhmm."

She had turned around and looked at him. He baffled her sometimes. Well, most of the time, if she were honest with herself. He had seemed to be aloof and sort of uncaring at first, but after getting to know him a bit she had seen that there was another side to him. He was lonely, just like her. She had decided right then to make him talk to her. She had started asking him questions about his Irish heritage. When he told her that his surname, Dwyer, meant the-dark-wise-one in Gaelic, she had laughed.

Phil had given her a mockingly sour look, although she knew that he hadn't taken her teasing seriously. Bella wanted him to tell her more Irish idioms, but he had started reciting some sort of a poem in a thick accent instead.

When she had dissolved in a fit of laughter, he had smirked and continued to regal her with witty and sometimes slightly crude limericks. Unbeknownst to her, his plan to get her to talk to him and forget about her problems for a while was going like clockwork.

He had told her more about the history of those poems, and Bella had learned that there even was a town in Ireland called Limerick. Phil had then recited another poem in a clear American enunciation, so that Bella would understand what it said, but she had insisted that it sounded better in his lilting Irish accent. Not wanting to disappoint her, he had continued and tried to teach her how to compose and recite limericks. Then he had mentioned that it was easier to do it with a few beers under your belt and her funny obsession had been born. She had made him promise that if she managed to form a limerick that followed all the rules, made sense _and_ was funny, he would let her have a beer.

_I still have not had a beer_, she thought, smiling at that memory. She looked at the man that she had grown to love and respect, and she wanted him to stop worrying so much about her. She thought for a few moments, trying to think of something funny and after deliberating, she started one, hoping to distract him.

"There was a young man from Chicago  
Who rode a Yamaha Virago  
He met a young girl  
That made his toes curl  
He left her one night for Santiago."

Phil laughed heartily and threw himself in the game. He teased her that her Irish accent was for the dogs and he ruffled her hair. They bantered back and forth, creating funny little poems trying to beat each other. For a while, they were so immersed in the game that they failed to notice that the previously empty dining room was now filled with people.

Or at least, Bella had. Phil was as attentive of his surroundings as always and noticed right away when a certain green-eyed man entered the room. The man's eyes were filled with so much longing; Phil was intrigued.

Determined to keep Bella happy and safely distracted, he came up with another limerick and started reciting it in his heaviest Irish accent.

"There once was an old man named Phil  
Well known for his prowess and skill  
He had a girl Bella  
she surely was stella'  
He gave her a license to kill."

"Careful, Dwyer, oh, dark-wise-one," Bella playfully quipped. "Your Irish roots are showing through." She giggled when he shot her a menacing glare. "What?" she asked, trying to stop herself from full-on laughing in his face.

Neither of them paid much attention to the rest of the people in the room, who were staring at the friendly banter with mouths hanging open. They had never seen their intimidating director acting so free as to engage in light conversation, or accept teasing from anyone-much less the diminutive girl standing before them.

The main reaction was humor and slight disbelief. From everyone, except one. Edward was...he didn't know how to name the feeling that had come over him, but it wasn't humor, although there was disbelief. His chest was constricted, his jaws tightly clenched, and his heart felt like it had been enveloped in a layer of ice.

_What is that?_ he asked himself. Of course, he knew what it was, but decided to perish the thought. He wasn't, he couldn't be jealous of the easy relationship between Bella and Phil. It was irrational, but he felt that he had left rationality back at that gloomy little town in the Pacific northwest.

After all, he _had_ abandoned her. She was right about that. The fact that he had been unwilling to do so was neither here nor there. He had let it happen, and now he had to take responsibility for his actions. It was nobody's fault but his own, that Bella was so close to some other man; even if their behavior toward each other was as close to father and daughter as it was possible.

The truth was that his relationship with her had never been so easy—even before he left. It was too fraught with heavy emotions—and lies, omissions and half-truths from his part—to be so light. There had always been tension between them, caused by the sparks that ignited their bodies whenever they were close to each other. He envied the effortless ease with which Phil could make her laugh. He wanted to be the one to coax her lips into that breathtaking smile. Although he realized that ship had sailed when he had ended their relationship on such harsh terms, he couldn't help but want it—them—back.

Missing her had become like a second heartbeat to him. Not one day had gone by since that day that he didn't think of her. Her image had been burned into his retinas, prohibiting him from really seeing any other woman. He had felt torn and desperate. He wanted—no, _needed_—to hold her in his arms again. To press his lips to hers, feel their breaths mingle, hear the soft moans she elicited when his hands caressed her soft skin. His mind went back to their kiss yesterday. The way she had reacted to him at first...was indescribable. Before she had shot him down and broken his heart.

Those memories brought him to the state he always found himself in, every time he thought about her. Aroused. It was painful and humiliating to know that she sat just feet away from him, paying him no mind when he felt this way about her. When he knew that someday she would share her body with some other man, the way she had never shared it with him. He couldn't stand it anymore. He leapt from his seat and hurried out of the room like the devil was after him.

The sharp sound of the chair scraping on the linoleum floor and falling down due to his hasty departure, drove all lightness away from the room, the same way a black hole would devour all matter around it.

Silence descended in the dining room and uncomfortable looks passed around all of those present. Not everyone knew the facts about the new addition in the crew, but it was not hard to sense the somberness that had put an end to the light atmosphere.

Jasper slowly rose from his chair and after apologizing, went after his friend. Bella felt like her heart was in her throat. Phil's reassuring hand enveloping hers didn't do much for comfort. She lowered her head and shook it when he asked if she was all right. Tears were threatening to make an appearance, and she didn't want those people to see them.

"I think I need to be alone for a while," she whispered to him and left the room, too. Phil's face was an indecipherable mask. A sharp look around him caused all faces to turn away and act as if nothing had happened. His eyes settled on Carlisle's and issued a silent order. Your office, NOW.

Carlisle nodded imperceptibly and the two of them headed toward the office that would offer the privacy needed for the imminent discussion. When they entered, Carlisle stood and respectfully waited as Phil took the seat behind Carlisle's desk. He hadn't felt this way—like a rookie in front of his commanding officer, waiting to be reprimanded—for many years. It was unsettling, how that man could make the most capable of agents feel inadequate.

On his side, Phil was running the facts in his mind, distinguishing patterns of behavior and comparing the scene that had—just a few minutes ago—played before him with what he had heard from Bella about that boy.

"He really is in love with her," he stated, not needing confirmation for his conclusion, but expecting it nonetheless.

"Yes" was Carlisle's monosyllabic answer.

"Tell me everything you know."

~~ooOOOoo~~

**A/N: **Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would really love to hear your reactions. I am guessing that this chapter will create some interesting ones. See you soon.

Love,

Kallie xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

**Challenge Number/Title:** #6 – The Inanimate Object POV

**Date Posted:** 04/10/2013

**Fandom:** Twilight

**Rating:** NC17

**Genre:** AH

**Content Descriptors:** Angst, Romance, Mystery

**Character Pairing:** Bella / Edward

~~ooOOOoo~~

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Hello! This is my contribution to PTB's Writing Challenge 2013. There will be one story line, under the unofficial title **'Secret Hearts'**, concluded in 52 chapters. My greatest thanks to **BelleDuJour** (I seriously love you—you are a constant course of encouragement) and **Jenny/jennej** from **PTB**, for beta'ing this chapter for me. Hugs, and kisses, and lots of love. Okay, on with the show…

~~ooOOOoo~~

_**Secret Hearts**_

Chapter 6 (The Desk POV)

Generally, I lived a very quiet life. You see, being a desk didn't provide me with a lot of excitement. I knew secrets—oh, did I know secrets—and had several of them tucked away and locked inside my drawers. However, the quiet nature of my owner, Agent Cullen, did not provide me with many opportunities to see fights or entertain myself with the mundane doings of the humans.

At first, when the two men had walked inside the room, I had been confused. Agent Cullen had stayed in front of me, while the other man had proceeded and sat in the chair behind me. I couldn't understand why my owner had ceded his rightful place, and the slightly OCD tendencies I had had flared up.

You see, normally things inside this room were done in a particular way that suited me just fine. Every thing had its place; nothing was out of order. No papers strewn haphazardly around, no mess on me or in me. However, when Agent Cullen had called the visitor's name, everything suddenly started to make sense.

There was something about the man who now rested his elbows on my dark surface that brought goosebumps to my mahogany veins. He was commanding. His presence alone seemed to fill the room. I thought about what I had heard about him over the years. The founder of "Twilight," the top secret organization with the most fierce agents, was nothing less than intimidating.

Phillip Dwyer's years of exemplary service, the formidable dedication to his cause, and his lethal accuracy were some of the things I had heard being said about him over the phone and in person. Everyone respected him. It was hard not to. He had given up a life full of privilege to serve his country. To serve freedom. And although I was slightly appalled by the way he seemed to operate, taking huge risks and breaking rules to get the job done, I had to grudgingly admit that his way worked, even if it didn't maintain order.

He was the best agent the American secret services had ever seen. Nobody had been able to surpass his accomplishments so far, and from where I stood it would be very difficult to find the man—or woman—who could.

Right now, he was staring at Agent Cullen, drilling holes into his face. There was not even a speck of detail that could escape the Director's scrutiny, and Agent Cullen's eyes showed that although nervous—something I personally had never witnessed before—he would not lie to Director Dwyer.

The order "Tell me everything you know" had been issued. Agent Cullen lowered his eyes for a second and then gestured toward the chair in front of me. "May I sit down? It's a rather long story, Sir," he told Dwyer.

Dwyer nodded and added, "We've known each other for many years, Carlisle. Right now, I'm asking you as a friend to give me your honest opinion. I don't really know Masen, but you do. You've been his mentor for seven years."

Agent Cullen sat down and looked into his old friend's eyes. "It all started two years ago. We had just finished Operation Starlight and had relocated to Forks, Washington, to wind down and get debriefed for our next mission. In order to stay below the radar, we had assumed the identity of a family of four: a single father with two sons and a daughter. Agents Masen, Whitlock and Campbell were posing as my children."

My non-existent hackles rose at hearing the last name. It reminded me of something—something bad—but I couldn't quite place it. Of course, that irritated me even more. I rarely—if ever—forgot something I had heard. My cabinets and drawers may have been full with papers brimming with secrets, but my dark wooden grains held even more that never made it on paper. And I stored it all. I let my disturbance go for a while, not wanting to miss what Agent Cullen was saying.

"…I utilized my degree as a doctor and got a position in Port Angeles General Hospital, while 'my children' enrolled in Forks High School. We had only been there for a few days before Edward...Agent Masen...met Miss Swan."

Carlisle twisted his hands and sighed. "Agent Masen was enraptured by her, and very soon a relationship had been formed between them. I was wary at first, but I erroneously thought that it was nothing but a school fling. That it would soon be over and forgotten by the both of them."

Dwyer's face was an indecipherable mask. He heard everything Cullen was saying without letting any hints of thoughts or feelings get through his facade. "But it wasn't so?" he asked. The low, vibrating timbre of his voice would have caused shivers in me, if only such a thing were possible.

Cullen shook his head. "No. Masen surprised me. I obviously didn't know Bella-I mean Miss Swan-very well in the beginning, but I knew Edward. In the five years he had been under my command, I had never seen him look at any woman the way he looked at Miss Swan," he said. "There had been maybe hundreds of women pining for him, in the force, or on the job, and he never gave them the light of day-not once," he reiterated.

"The truth is, I had been worried about him. In all the time he had been on my team, since he was eighteen-years old, he didn't show interest in having a relationship. He was dedicated to our cause. It was simply un-natural for a man his age, and I was worried that something else might be hiding behind his behavior."

I wondered why Agent Cullen would worry about Agent Masen's dedication to such an honorable cause. His next words though helped me understand.

"I feared that he was a hidden sociopath, a ticking bomb in our midst. In a way, I felt a modicum of relief when I saw that he was able to feel affection for another human being. And Miss Swan is an exceptional girl."

I saw Dwyer trying to hide a smirk from his companion. "That she is, Carlisle. That she is," he simply said. He got up and started pacing around me. That made me a bit nervous, I had to admit. I had heard from the furniture grapevine that when people got agitated, they would take it out on the closest piece of furniture. I didn't want that to happen to me. Cullen was absolutely still in his chair, seemingly trying to figure out his superior's mood. I could have told him that it didn't seem good from where I was standing.

Thinking back at the times I had seen Agent Masen in this office, I realized that he always seemed to be...separate. I mean, even I, which really couldn't feel loneliness, always had a chair stand by my side. The soft leather sofa and the armchair that Agent Cullen was now perched upon kept good company. They irritated me sometimes, but really, what piece of furniture could measure up to my standards of perfection?

Hardly any. Ex. . cept for that cute little desk, made of light blond wood. I had only seen her once, when they had first brought me here. Oh, she had been a beauty! Those polished surfaces, those sturdy legs! Unfortunately, I had not seen her since then. Oh well! What could I do? But to get back on course, from what I had witnessed several times, a strong friendship existed between Cullen and Masen. But the young man always seemed to avoid the light banter that his fellow operatives engaged in given the opportunity.

It always seemed to me like a heavy burden was weighing on his shoulders. The one time I had felt like the way he looked was when that rude Agent McCarty had plopped his unsavory bottom on my shiny top, after he had jumped from across the room. _Talk about a load of sh…_Anyway, from what I had heard, Agent Masen had lost both his parents in a terrorist attack when he had been only fourteen years old. He, himself, had told Cullen once, that their violent death had been the reason for his joining the secret service. I had felt so sorry for the poor boy then!

He wanted to rid the world of all the evil and spare other children his fate. He was a noble young man, who reminded me of the Director in a way. I only remember seeing him sad, and I often wondered why such a young—and by all accounts handsome—man was not happy.

"I have read his file," Dwyer said. "I want you to tell me what happened after you were compromised by Agent Campbell."

Carlisle's face twisted in an angry scowl. I knew the story they were talking about. _What a mess! _ Katherine Campbell, their 'sister' during their time in Forks, had fallen in love with Masen. When he had refused her, blatantly preferring the company of the elusive Bella Swan, she had decided to retaliate by giving away their location and aliases to their enemies, effectively blowing their cover.

The breach of security had thankfully been spotted early on and—thank the mighty gods of all that is orderly and good—total disorder was avoided. It made me shudder just thinking about it. There had been no victims, except for the instigator of the whole thing, Agent Campbell. After the revelation that one of their own had betrayed them, the rest of them had been ordered to leave in order to hide. _Oh, so that's what happened_, I thought. He had been forced to leave that girl behind. And from what I heard, her life had not been the same since. Oh, the chaos that jealous harpy had caused in so many people's lives was just...ugh!

Agent Cullen's next words confirmed my conclusion. "I had no choice at the time but to order Agent Masen to flee with the rest of us. Had he stayed, he would have been targeted as well as the girl. It didn't go very well, as you can imagine. At first he refused, but the threat hanging over her head made him reconsider."

Cullen shook his head. "During the time we spent with her, I got to know and respect Bel...Miss Swan. She is different from other girls her age. More mature. Stronger. Unfortunately, that quality was what forced him to say some very harsh words to her the last time they met."

"What words?" Dwyer asked and his jaw clenched tight. His affection for the girl was obvious. I wondered what that girl meant to him and why he was defending her so much.

"She wouldn't let go of him, and he had to make her believe that she had been nothing more than a plaything," Cullen responded. "He told her that he had to leave and when she said that she would go with him, he told her that she didn't belong with him. That he didn't want her. That she had merely been a distraction from the boring life in Forks."

Cullen sighed. "I don't even know how he found the strength to say those things. To everyone who knew him, it was as plain as the light of day that he loved her more than anything in the world. The only reason he left without her was that by allowing her to go with him, he would drag her in a world full of danger. She would have to disappear and always be away from her family. She would always be on the run."

"So he lied," Dwyer said.

"He lied. He left her safe in Forks, sacrificing a part of him to keep her that way. And now she's here. Why is she here, Phil? If I may ask?" Cullen responded.

"She is here, because I sent her here, Carlisle. She stopped living when your boy left her. She deserves to know the truth. If not to mend things, then only to be able to move on and live. Because right now, she doesn't," he said, banging his hand on my head...I mean top.

If I had a heart, now would be the time for me to have a heart attack. I could seriously feel my wooden legs shaking. _Doesn't anybody see this?_ I screamed in my thoughts. I am becoming a victim of domestic abuse! Neither of the two men gave any consideration to my silent screams, though. They carried on as if I didn't exist.

"Phil, how much does she know about us? Why did she get involved in this, when we all tried to protect her? Edward gave her up—and has been a ghost of himself ever since—in order to protect her. How did you get involved in this?"

Dwyer turned to face Cullen straight on and stabbed him with his unflinching stare. "In all the years you've known me, Carlisle, have I ever done anything without good reason?" he asked, tapping his fingers irritatedly on my surface. I _may_ or _may not_ have twitched a bit at that. _Okay, I did twitch, sue me! That stuff made me nervous._

Lowering his head, Cullen sighed. "No. Not that I know of. But..." he tried to say and was interrupted.

"No buts. I have my reasons and you will know when the time is right. For now, I will end this discussion. I have to talk to Bella." Dwyer got up and slapped his hand on me twice more, as if giving a signal or something. _Deep breaths_, I thought, _take nice, deep breaths_. When Carlisle didn't move and just kept staring at him, the Director bristled. "Is there something else you would like to say, Carlisle?"

Steely blue eyes returned Dwyer's gaze as Cullen stood up and glared. "I don't know what Bella means to you, or the reason why you have become her champion. I do know that I feel responsible for Agent Masen," he said trying to keep his composure. _No_, I thought, _don't anger him! He resorts to violence when infuriated! Not to mention that my patience is wearing reaaaaally thin with the way he keeps manhandling me. I can feel it; with all the jostling around, my files are starting to slip out of order. AND I HATE THAT! _

"Edward is our best agent," Cullen continued, paying my plea—and justly qualified annoyance— no mind. "He is preparing to go on the most dangerous mission of his career so far, and he is distraught by her presence here and the conflict between them." Standing straight, he never removed his eyes from his superior. "He is like a son to me and I won't stand by and watch him get hurt. Phil, you said that this conversation was among friends. Surely you understand that the situation is really bad right now."

"You have to trust me on this one, Carlisle. I won't explain my reasoning, because I can't right now. Will that be all, Agent Cullen?" Dwyer asked. With a heavy sigh, Cullen nodded and stood as Dwyer left the office. _Thank God that's over_, I thought. In the past hour, I had racked up enough excitement—and terror—to last me a lifetime! This life of adventure was not for me!

For a few moments I saw Cullen staring at the closed door. Then he went to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch and a glass tumbler. Swirling the golden liquid in the glass, he sat on his chair—all right, okay, things seemed to be getting back in order now; what a joyous feeling!—and seemed to get lost in his thoughts for a while.

"No. It can't be," he suddenly gasped and almost let the glass slip from his hand. A few drops escaped and landed on my polished surface.

_Ooh, if I had hands right now_, I thought. _Wipe me up, you jerk! Those things leave stains!_

As if he could hear me, he absentmindedly wiped the spilled liquid from my surface. _Well, I can forgive him this one time_, I decided. _But don't let it happen again!_ I admonished.

Cullen still seemed to be in a trance. It wasn't as if he could hear me anyway. "What are you up to now, Black Fox?" he mumbled.

_Yes, _I thought. _That's what I'm wondering, too!_

~~ooOOOoo~~

**A/N: **Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would really love to hear what you thought. Or maybe tell me how idiotic it was. Or that you fell in love with the dark, sturdy authoritarian desk. Whatever, really! I'll be here. See you soon.

Love,

Kallie xoxo


	7. Chapter 7

**Challenge Number/Title:** #7 – Talk My Ear Off

**Date Posted:** 04/12/2013

**Fandom:** Twilight

**Rating:** NC17

**Genre:** AH

**Content Descriptors:** Angst, Romance, Mystery

**Character Pairing:** Bella / Edward

~~ooOOOoo~~

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Hello! I bet you didn't expect to hear from me so soon. LOL. This is my contribution to PTB's Writing Challenge 2013. There will be one story line, under the unofficial title **'Secret Hearts'**, concluded in 52 chapters. My greatest thanks to **BelleDuJour** (I seriously love you—you are a constant course of encouragement) and **babykay18** from **PTB**, for beta'ing this chapter for me. Hugs, and kisses, and lots of love. Okay, on with the show…

~~ooOOOoo~~

_**Secret Hearts**_

Chapter 7 (The Valentine Loos)

The training room was looming ahead of her. Bella really didn't want to go in, but Phil had been adamant about it. She had to work out and that was that. _He has a very stubborn streak_, she thought.

Huffing, she blew away a stray bang that fell into her eyes and annoyed her. "I _really_ don't want to go in there," she whined, in case the first five times she had said so hadn't registered with him.

Phil's sole response was a "Mhmmm…" He opened the door and gestured for her to go in. Grumbling some more, she entered the room, trying not to look at the particular section of the space that had haunted her thoughts since yesterday. She stayed focused on her feet until she felt him touching her shoulder.

"Avoidance will get you nowhere, pumpkin. You know that," he told her. "You need to face things head on. I know you remember that we talked about it."

Bella balled her hands into fists and tucked them in her waist. "Oh?" she sneered. "And beating the hell out of a punching bag will get me somewhere?" She was getting more worked up by the minute. Knowing that he was right and admitting it were two entirely different things.

Phil shrugged. "Works for me," he said. "Why don't you try it out?" He showed her the folded out training mattress. "But first, you have to warm up. Stretch out for a bit, and then we'll do some crunches."

A small smile graced her lips, and a mischievous glint sparked in her eyes. "_We'll_ do some crunches? As in you and I? What about your 'elder' bones? Will they be able to handle it?" she quipped.

"Hooh, little missy. You're in for a whooping, methinks!" he mockingly growled. They bantered back and forth as they warmed up. Phil may have been in his late fifties, but he could seriously beat men half his age.

Bella looked at him, trying to understand why a man with his looks and brain had ended up alone in life. He was very handsome for a man his age, and she was willing to bet that he had made quite a few heads turn in his younger years. His tall body hid solid muscles and his face had a few deep wrinkles around the eyes that gave him a more masculine appearance, rather than making him seem old. His hair was still that dark reddish brown that gave away his Irish descent, with silver streaks on his sideburns and forehead. If a man as striking as him couldn't find someone to spend his life with, what was to become of plain-Jane her?

"Was there ever anyone that you felt you wanted to spend your life with?" she asked him. Phil stopped doing his exercises and looked up at her. His brows furrowed for a second and then he leaned up and clasped his hands together, supporting his elbows on his knees. He was silent for a few moments before a sad smile appeared on his face.

"Of course," he said. "I don't think that there is a person in the world that has gone through life without being hit by Cupid's arrows at least once."

"What happened?" she asked him. "I mean...you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just...need someone to tell me that this pain I feel inside will eventually dissipate. That I will be able to look at another man and feel love. Because right now, I can't imagine something like that happening." Her voice was small and tears were brimming in her eyes.

"Honey," he said, "I am really the last person you should ask advice from in this matter. I know how to get you out of this desert safely and how to incapacitate an opponent with three moves, but the heart is really not my department," he sighed. "Maybe you should talk to your mother about this," he added.

Bella scoffed. "_Right_. Renee," she retorted. "Her attitude toward this situation from the beginning has been to 'get over it,'" she said, twisting her fingers to form quotation marks. "Not what I would call helpful."

His head fell for a moment before looking at his hands. "Yeah, well, Renee has always been a little shortsighted about certain things. What she didn't want to see simply didn't exist in her world. She didn't want to see that your affection for...you know...was deep and real. She preferred to view it as a crush that would go away with time. She hoped that it wouldn't leave marks on your soul, or that it wouldn't be hard to overcome."

"It was her, wasn't it?" Bella blurted, understanding slowly dawning on her. That was the reason Phil had taken her in. That was the reason why he seemed to be so protective of her. The shock that—for a moment—shone in his blue eyes confirmed her suspicions. For the first time since she had met him, she saw Phil flustered. His mouth opened and closed once, but no voice came forth.

Slowly shaking his head, he chuckled. "Oh, you are good!"

She looked up at him through her lashes. "So, what happened?" she asked the same question she had asked him before. "How could she not know? Did you not tell her?"

"I never told her, although I think she knew. Whenever I tried to say something, she would change the conversation or leave. I think she believed that I would stop being there for her if she told me that she didn't feel the same as I," he admitted. "I never pushed her, though. And then she met Charlie."

Bella's eyes snapped up at his declaration. "Wait," she said. "You knew her _before_ she met my dad?" she asked, her voice betraying her shock. "You never told me that. I thought you two met after she left us."

"No," Phil admitted. "I knew her long before she met your dad. It was...twenty three years ago, I think." He scratched his chin, remembering. "And it was quite a meeting," he continued, laughing.

Curiosity peaking, Bella gave him a puppy-eyed look. "Well, how did you two meet?" she asked. Her eager expression had Phil laughing.

"You know, it was curiosity that killed the cat, from what I've heard," he told her.

She gave him a hairy eyeball before crossing her arms across her chest. "I guess it's a good thing I'm not a cat then," she said. Seeing his slightly defeated posture, she gave up the smarmy attitude and went up to him, giving him a hug.

"Seriously, Phil. You know that you can talk to me, right? You can trust me. You have helped me so much this past year..." She choked the last words out, overcome by emotion. Bella was certain that without Phil she wouldn't have been able to cope with her grief. He had been a life-saver for her, and she would do anything for him.

Phil hugged her back and tenderly ruffled her hair. "I know, pumpkin. I know. Now, let's punch this bag to heaven and I'll tell you all about it."

Bella nodded and stood in front of the bag. She delivered a couple of hits on it, but her mind was on the story Phil was about to begin.

"So?" she impatiently asked. "Will you tell me already?"

Rolling his eyes at her persistence, Phil huffed. "Okay, where do I begin?" he mumbled. "First, I have to say that although she didn't know me from Adam, I knew exactly who Renee was. I was on a mission back then. A mission that involved...certain members of her family. That being said, you have to know that she was in no way implicated in any of it."

"Phiiiilll," Bella whined. "Get to the point, please! I'm getting older here."

"Brat!" he playfully scolded her. "The point. Let's see. The first time we ever talked was inside the men's bathroom in a fancy restaurant."

Bella's mouth gaped open like a fish out of water. "You met Renee in the loo?" she incredulously asked. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. That was our first meeting. I found her hiding in the 'loo' as you so eloquently said. Although, as you know, it was not 'Renee' then."

"But...why?"

"She was hiding from her date of the night. You see, her father had arranged for her to spend Valentine's Day with the man he wanted her to marry, and she..."

"Wait, wait, wait. Back up a minute. You two met on Valentine's Day...in the loo?" She giggled so hard, her eyes were tearing up, and she had trouble breathing.

"Yeah, laugh it up, kid. See if I tell you anything else," he grumbled.

"No, no, I'm sorry," she managed to say through her snickers. "It's just so...funny. You could say that your first meeting was for shit," she quipped.

Phil silently stared at her for a few seconds, trying to intimidate her with his lethal gaze, but then he just cracked and started laughing too.

"Okay, all right. I guess you're right. It is funny. It just wasn't at the time. And what is it with 'the loo'? Last time I checked you were American."

"Oh, that? It's just something I picked up when I was in London. Enough about me. I want details. De. Tails."

"Details. All right. So, as I was saying, she was hiding in the men's room. I had seen her leaving her date at the table, and she had been gone for some time, so I went to investigate. I looked in the ladies' room, but I didn't find her. Then, I went in the men's room and pretended to wash my hands as I was watching for any noises. I heard some shuffling, and a hushed yelp, and then some grumbling from one of the stalls. Pretending to be ignorant, I asked who was there. Renee, with a very hoarse voice said that she was fine. She tried to make her voice sound masculine. Big, big fail."

Bella laughed. "Yeah, there is nothing remotely masculine about Renee."

"Yes, well, I was trying to coax her to get out of the stall..."

~~ooOOOoo~~

"Miss, what are you doing in there?" he asked.

"Ummm, nothing?" she said.

"You _do_ realize that you're in the men's room, right?"

"Yeeess," she hissed.

"Care to explain why?"

"No."

Phil shook his head, trying not to laugh. "Maybe I should call the manager then," he threatened, although he knew he would never do such a thing.

His threat worked, and she hastened to reply. "No. Don't. I'll tell you. I just don't want to come out in case _he_ comes in here."

"Then, maybe I can come in?" he asked. Silence followed his request until a few moments later she complied.

"Okay, just...can I trust you?"

"I assure you that I am a very trustworthy person, Miss," he said, silently cringing. He was anything but. Although, she didn't know that.

The door opened, and a flustered Renee poked her head out. "Come in, come in," she told him, gesturing wildly for him to enter. A few seconds later, they were both crammed inside that small stall. He took stock of her delicate features as she fidgeted.

His voice was calm and soothing as he spoke. "Miss, is there something wrong? I can help you if there is."

"No. Yes. I mean...I am hiding from my horrible date. I came in here because it would be the last place he would think I could hide in. I have to find a way to get out of this restaurant without him noticing," she said. Her eyes locked on his, piercing him. In all the times he had seen her from afar, he had never noticed how blue they were, or how they seemed to sparkle in the light.

He felt slightly lightheaded and took a deep breath to compose himself. It wouldn't do to lose himself in those eyes and forget who he was or what he was trying to achieve. "Has your date tried to hurt you?" he asked.

"No," she said. "I just can't stand him. Or the fact that my father tries to shove him down my throat without any consideration for my feelings. I am to marry that..._man_...out there, and my opinion has no bearing in this. I am a foregone conclusion."

Tears shone in her eyes, and Renee swiped them before they could fall. "I know you don't know me, but I would be grateful if you could help me escape."

"Certainly," he told her and reached out to touch her hand. "Come with me," he said, taking her hand and preparing to open the door when an angry voice heard from just outside the bathroom forced them to cower in the corner.

"Of course I looked everywhere. What kind of an idiot do you think I am?" the voice shouted. "She is gone." Another voice said something and the angry man—the scorned date—retreated.

Both Phil and Renee took deep breaths and sagged against the wall behind them. He felt his skin burning where her fingers were entwined with his. She hadn't let go of his hand and that made him feel...strange. There was something about the warm sensation of her skin on his that both soothed and agitated him. He looked up and saw her watching him, an unreadable expression in her face. His fingers lightly squeezed hers and a soft gasp left her lips.

At the small sound, Phil's eyes zeroed in on her soft mouth. He felt this tugging in the pit of his stomach, pulling him closer to her. His breathing turned fast and shallow, copying the girl's. A thread seemed to tie them together and bring them closer with each moment that passed.

Finally, they were just a few millimeters apart, their lips almost touching. They shared air, never breaking each other's gaze. Her eyes were wide, taking in the young man's face, his dark smoldering eyes. _He is beautiful_, she thought, _if such a thing can be said about a man_. Her lips felt dry so she licked them with her tongue. The small moan that escaped from the man in front of her made her insides clench. "I..." she whispered.

"Yes."

"I don't even know your name."

"Phil," was his hoarse reply.

"Phil. I am..." she started saying, but was interrupted by the bathroom door slamming against the tiled wall. She prepared to scream, frightened, but her mouth was muffled by Phil's hand. He held her tightly in his arms, whispering under his breath that everything would be okay, but she couldn't make a single noise. She moved her head up and down to show him that she would comply, since his hand was still on her mouth. He looked at her for one second longer before releasing her and mouthing 'I'm sorry.' She shook her head to show him that he had nothing to be sorry about. He then proceeded to tell her how to get out of the restaurant without being seen, while he would keep her distraught date occupied.

At his silent suggestion, she cowered in the corner as he pulled the stall door open and exited. She heard him going to the sink and washing his hands. The man checking the stalls asked him if he had seen a woman in the room. Phil acted surprised at the question. "Why would there be a woman in the men's room?" he asked the 'date.'

"My date seems to have gone missing," the man had replied.

"Oh, man, what a bummer. Dumped on Valentine's Day? That was cruel. I say she doesn't deserve single thought more. Damn broads and their PMS'img."

"Yeah," the other man reluctantly agreed.

"Well, I say screw her and all them broads. You know why I'm here tonight? All alone? My fiancée chose today of all days to cheat on me. I walked in my house to find her screwing my best friend. I get how you feel, man. What do you say we forget those bitches and drown our sorrows in some fine scotch, huh?"

Without waiting for a reply from the other man, Phil dragged him out of the bathroom and toward the direction of the restaurant's bar. Renee waited for a few minutes to make sure that the coast was clear and high-tailed it out of the bathroom. She chanced a peek in the restaurant and saw Phil plying her date with alcohol. He winked at her, and she giggled and stole through the kitchen toward the back door.

Once outside, she took a deep breath and hailed a cub that would take her home. She knew that when she got home she would have to face her father's wrath, but she would worry about that later.

~~ooOOOoo~~

Phil had a bittersweet look in his face as he told Bella this story. He probably wasn't the best example for her—so many years had passed and he still couldn't get Renee out of his system. He never found another that could fill the void she had left in his heart when she met Charlie Swan and fell in love with him.

But Renee was his friend, and she had trusted him with her daughter. A daughter that looked so much like her, it was almost spooky. However much Bella looked like Renee though, she never once made his heart clench at her sight. The only feeling he felt for her was protectiveness. A fierce protectiveness that he sometimes couldn't understand or explain.

The one thing he could think of was that had Renee stayed with him, then Bella would have been his daughter. His ruminations were interrupted by Bella's fierce hug.

"Oh, Phil," she said.

Not wanting to see her sad, he tugged her hair and flicked her nose. "Don't worry about me, honey. That was a long time ago. Now, enough with the recollections of years past. Let's beat the crap out of that punching bag, okay?"

Bella smiled softly and nodded. She could see that Phil struggled with his emotions and she didn't want to make things harder for him. Her heart wept for the young man he had been. The man who saw the love of his life fall for someone else and create a life and a child with that man.

The outcome surely wasn't in Bella's favor. She sensed that in twenty years or so, she would be Phil. Unable to get Edward's face out of her mind and heart and find another to love. "Yeah, let's beat that bag," she said. "I think I saw it giving me the evil eye a few minutes ago."

~~ooOOOoo~~

**A/N: **Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would really love to hear what you thought. I'll be here. See you soon. Feedback is important and very appreciated. I'll send cookies?

Love,

Kallie xoxo


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